Once Was Lost
by Haitus80
Summary: This is a season two based "what if" story. What if Daryl brought Sophia back alive and well and what if the farm hadn't been overrun? Just something that has been bouncing around in my head for a while. It wont be any more than two chapters. Caryl all the way so if that isn't your thing then move on! Rating will most likely change depending on what people want to read.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I figured I would write a one shot for fun again but I'm thinking that this really needs to be a two shot. Certainly not longer than that. But I'll just let you guys decide. If I add another chapter then I think I'll do Daryl's POV but tell me what you want to see and I'll jump right on it. This is much more slow paced than what I normally write. Hope you enjoy and if you don't then remember to sign in before you talk shit. If you can't sign in then don't bother. The opinion of cowards don't particularly matter to me ;) To all my friends that will most likely read this, thanks for always giving my writing a shot and leaving the love. You guys have become such an awesome group and I love hearing from every one of you! Much love =)**

Chapter One

Carol stepped out onto the porch silently, darkness wrapping around her like a cloak. The air was chilly now, the moon was just a sliver, offering no light to guide her way. She knew it was stupid to slip out in the middle of the night, alone and unarmed, but she was starting to feel stifled in the house. Walking to the edge of the porch she rubbed her hands up and down her arms briskly, hoping the friction would bring her a little warmth. Her lips turned up in the semblance of a smile as she took in a deep breath of the crisp air. Memories of the days miraculous events whirled through her mind, causing tears to sting her eyes. They were no longer tears of grief. These were tears of joy, relief, elation. Today was the first day of the rest of her life and she had no intentions of wasting a minute of it.

She was glad that Hershel had finally let them into the house. It was much safer than sleeping in tents or even the R.V. But there was one member of their group that hadn't jumped at the chance to stay inside. The man that she owed everything to. The one that had barely spoken to her since he had emerged from the woods with her daughter in tow just that morning. She had been unable to sleep so she had been up earlier than the others, collecting eggs so she could get a head start on breakfast. On exiting the hen house she caught sight of Daryl first, her heart aching with guilt because she knew he had been out another night searching for a child that he barely knew.

But then as he crested the small rise she saw that he wasn't alone. She had blinked several times but the image remained. Sophia was with him. He wasn't carrying the girl. He wasn't holding her hand and he wasn't coddling her in any way. He wasn't even shortening his stride to make it easier for her to keep up with him. But he had brought her back. Somehow, against all of the odds that were stacked against him, he had persevered and he had kept his word. He had found her little girl.

He had stalked right out of the woods and handed her the world. He hadn't lingered and when she tried to thank him after that tearful reunion all he did was blush, shrug and gave her a big fat "I told ya so" before she could even get the words out of her mouth. When the rest of the group woke up and more happy tears had fallen he had done what he had always done. He had kept the others at a distance. When the group all praised him for what he had done he simply nodded and then eventually slunk off into the shadows. He had even politely, or as politely as Daryl could, declined Hershel's offer of one of the guest rooms in the big house. He opted to stay in his tent, separated from the others in his self imposed exile.

She found herself walking out into the yard, her eyes finally adjusting to the dark, unaware for the moment where her feet were taking her until she was already past the barn. Not too far past the barn was a pond and just the day before he had been walking with her and pointed out a cluster of those wild flowers. The same kind that he had given to her what seemed like an eternity ago.

She thought of that day often when she would hear one of the others talking about his short temper. She remembered the soft look in his eyes as he explained the Cherokee legend to her when someone would mention how abrasive he was. The truth was, not one of them knew a thing about Daryl Dixon's character. Not even herself.

She was nearly to the pond when she heard something coming from the treeline not far away. She froze, fear causing the air to rush out of her like steal bands had encased her lungs. Was she insane? How could she have came all this way, in the middle of the night, without any means to protect herself? She just got her daughter back and now she was going to get herself killed. She scanned the area for something she could use against a walker but there was nothing in sight.

"The hell do you think you're doin'?" She heard a familiar angry voice right before she saw him emerge from the trees.

She felt the bands around her chest loosen so she could breath again. He stopped a few feet away and stared at her. "I'm not used to sleeping in a house anymore. I needed some air." She said quietly.

She expected him to scoff at her and tell her she was an idiot for leaving the safety of the house but he didn't. Instead she could have sworn she saw the ghost of a smile cross his face. "I know the feelin', but you shoulda got some air on the porch. Where the hell did you think you were goin'?"

She sighed and pointed behind him towards the cluster of Cherokee roses growing next to the pond.

He turned his head and squinted into the darkness. To her surprise he turned around and started strolling in that direction. He glanced back over his shoulder. "You comin' or not?"

She hurried to catch up with him, falling in step beside him. "If you want we can just head back. I don't know what I was thinking coming all the way down here alone."

"You wasn't." He muttered.

She glanced over. "What?"

"You wasn't thinkin'. Or you woulda kept your ass in the house. Ain't you cold?"

She rubbed her arms once more. "A little." She shrugged.

He stopped in front of the rosebush and looked past them out at the pond. "What now?" He asked quietly.

She looked at the white blooms in the limited light. They looked like they were floating against a dark backdrop. She thought back to how devastated she had been at the thought of her daughter never being found and then she thought of how much hope he had given her. She was pretty sure that if he hadn't been so relentless in his search and so adamant that she not give up hope then she would have lost her mind before Sophia had been found.

"Why did you try so hard to find her?" She asked suddenly, feeling his eyes on her but unable to look at him for some reason.

He shifted uncomfortably but didn't say anything for a while. When he finally spoke it was in a low voice. "I know what it's like to be lost and I also know what it's like to be left with nobody. Didn't figure that kind of thing was fair for either one of you."

There was something about the tone of his voice that had her heart aching. There was so much more to this man than anyone would probably ever know and it made her sad. Sad that he felt the need to hide it from everyone and even more sad that it had worked so well on the rest of the group. She turned so she was in front of him now. She knew he didn't need to hear it and he had brushed her off earlier but she was determined to thank him for bringing her girl back to her. The whole day felt like a blur. This was the first time that her thoughts had slowed down enough to even pay attention to what someone else was even saying to her.

"Thank you." She said, her voice was thick with emotion and she could only hope that he understood that her gratitude was endless for what he had done.

"Wasn't nothin'. I'd have been out there anyway, whether she needed findin' or not." he grumbled as he looked away.

He was selling himself short. He had searched for her child and against all of those odds he had brought her back and he couldn't even let himself have a moment of pride for that. Without thinking it through she stepped closer and then hugged him.

He instantly tensed but he couldn't step away from her since the pond was right behind him.

"Jesus, lady! What the hell?" He said loudly, clearly not expecting her to do anything like that.

She let go of him quickly but planted herself firmly in his space. "You risked your life for her and you brought her back safe. That wasn't nothin'. That was _everything_. She's all I've ever had and even when I believed she was gone, you kept searching. You didn't give up. Men like that don't come around very often and when they do, they need to know how much good they do. They need to know how much they mean to other people. You're a good man, Daryl Dixon. Anyone that says any different will have to answer to me."

He stared at her for quite some time before he nodded towards the house. "You best get back inside. Last thing that little girl needs is for her mama to end up sick."

He stepped around her without another word and stalked off towards the house. She hurried behind him until she caught up and fell into step at his side. Neither of them spoke again but she smiled a little when he walked her right up to the door of the house.

"G'night." He said gruffly.

"Good night, Daryl." She smiled at him one last time before slipping into the house and retreating back to her bedroom on the second floor.

~H~

The next night was less chilly when Carol emerged from the house. The day had been interesting. She was thrilled to see that Daryl had came in to join the others for breakfast. He hadn't even glared at her when she had taken the seat next to his. Sophia was already perched in the chair on the other side of him. He had grunted his thanks when she had handed him his plate, which caused her to have to force back a smile. Other than that he hadn't said a thing to her.

She had, however, noticed that he hovered around a little more than usual. He seemed to be within ear shot of her the entire day. She hoped that she had gotten through to him. She hoped he was proud of himself for what he had done for her. Maybe he was a little grateful for her too. It didn't seem he'd received many compliments or praise before.

She missed talking to him like they had talked when Sophia was missing so she had climbed out of bed once more, in the hopes of maybe running into him again. This time she grabbed herself a fire poker from the fireplace in her room before sneaking out of the house. As soon as she stepped out onto the porch he came around the side of the house and then stopped in his tracks when he saw her. She could only hope that he didn't think she was out here to badger him, even though deep down she knew that he was the reason she had came out at all.

She held up the poker and flashed him a smile. "I'm armed this time." she whispered.

She thought she saw the corner of his mouth lift up right before he looked away, back towards the barn. He stood there for a few awkward moments before shrugging.

"'Spose if ya ain't inclined to keep your ass in that warm bed of yours, the least I can do is take ya to wherever you was headed. Unless you came out here to be alone or somethin'."

She shook her head and then fell into step beside him like she had done the night before. They walked, saying very little. They circled the pond and this time she couldn't stop herself from picking one of the flowers that had grown to mean so much to her. It really was a symbol of hope. She caught the small smile on his face when she had plucked it from the bush. The one he had given her had withered away and she regretted not pressing it in a book. Someone had cleaned and tossed it out before she could even think of saving it.

What little bit they did talk was always initiated by her but he threw in a few stories here and there. She never realized that he was actually a little bit funny in a way. Especially when she was able to get him to talk about his brother. She wished there was a way she could give Merle back to him. But she was only Carol and she hadn't a clue on how to go about finding the missing Dixon. Besides, if Daryl didn't know where to find him then she would never be able to track him down. All she could do was hope that he was alive. When she told him as much he had stopped in his tracks.

"Why?" He asked in disbelief.

She shrugged. "Because he's your brother and you love him," she answered simply. She kept walking and now it was his turn to catch up with her.

"The only thing Merle would bring is a hard way to go for everybody here. Ain't nobody else in this group wants him back." He said as he glanced at her.

"It doesn't really matter what they think. He's your family."

He was quiet for a few long seconds, when he spoke she had to strain her ears to hear him. "So what. I ain't sure they understand that."

She didn't miss a beat. "I don't care what they understand or not either. You love your brother and you deserve to have him back, even if he is an ass sometimes... or all the time. Who are they to judge?"

She wanted to look at him when she heard a quiet laugh escape his lips but she kept her eyes trained on the house. "You'd be eatin' your words if he ever showed up here."

She smiled in the dark as he walked her to the door.

~H~

Eight weeks. It had been eight weeks after the first night she had ran into him and she found herself outside with him nearly every night. After the second night he had actually been waiting on the porch, sitting on the top step fiddling with a bolt. He had wordlessly stood up and off they went on their nightly jaunt through the farm. That was where she found him every night after that. Sometimes the weather wasn't cooperative and those nights she didn't even bother to go out. Other nights he was the one that never showed up. If he wasn't on the porch then she would retreat back inside. But he would always show up for breakfast, looking apologetic until she would flash him a smile. He'd nod and go about his day.

Sophia pestered him sometimes but he didn't seem to mind. She was always asking him questions. She, just like Carol, had seen through his grumpy exterior pretty quickly. He had even taken the girl out a few times, teaching her the basics when it came to tracking and had even given her a gun. He spent an entire day teaching her how to use it. Carol was beyond grateful for that. Shane was the one that taught Carol. Daryl hadn't talked very much the night she'd spent the day with Shane, but he'd shown up on the porch anyway.

Rick and Shane came to rely on him for a lot. They valued his opinion and asked him his thoughts on certain situations that would come up and as the weeks went by she was starting to see a much different man than she had met at the quarry.

Tonight was one of the coldest yet and she really wasn't expecting him to be there but when she cracked open the door there he was. Neither one of them ever talked about it. It was something that just was. For some reason they both enjoyed these nightly walks. Even on nights nothing was said. To call attention to it would be to ruin it and she knew this.

The moon was full and the property was lit up well, the frost on the grass reflecting the light. This was going to be one of the silent nights but that was okay with her. When they made it to the pond she walked to the edge where there was a slight incline and stopped. The pond was frozen over except right at the waters edge. He stopped with her, following her eyes, a small smile forming at the corners of his mouth.

She hadn't realized how close she had gotten until she felt her foot slip slightly. She could have easily righted herself since it wasn't very steep but his hand shot out and grabbed hers, steadying her quickly. She expected him to drop her hand as soon as he knew she wasn't going to plunge into the pond but he didn't. Her heart started racing when he pulled her away from the waters edge. His hand was rough and warm in hers. She didn't say a word about it. They continued on, her hand encased in his.

"Do you think we'll be able to stay here much longer?" She asked quietly as they passed the barn.

From the corner of her eye she saw him glance at her quickly. "Hard to say. Least now she's ready for the road if we gotta run." He said in a low voice.

"Thank you for that." She was grateful for what he had taught her daughter. Sophia was a much different child than she had been that day they had lost her. She was confident and happy. It was such a change from the girl she had raised in the violence in their home. She was free.

She felt his thumb graze across her knuckles and a nebulous feeling filled her chest, like she was made of helium. She kept her eyes on the ground in front of her. She didn't dare look at his face because if he dropped her hand she probably would have cried. They had grown a lot closer over the past weeks but she hadn't expected this. She wasn't sure what it meant really but she had a feeling that it meant a lot as far as he was concerned.

"Daryl?" She asked quietly when the house came into view.

He glanced at her but it was quick. He still hadn't said a word.

"Why don't you move into the house with everyone else? It's really cold out here and you aren't the only one that can keep an eye on the place. I know that's why you still haven't taken that room Hershel offered you."

He shrugged without a word. He did that sometimes but he kept a hold of her hand and that was what mattered. She was used to his silences but she wasn't used to this and she didn't want it to end. But like all good things, it had too. He let go of her hand before they hit the porch steps. "Guess I could do that. It'd be better than sleepin' on the ground. It's even harder when it's frozen." He smirked. "G'night."

He looked up, meeting her eyes and holding them for a long time. There was only about a foot separating them. She held her breath and didn't let it out until he broke the gaze and turned away, heading down the steps. This time she watched him go. He glanced back over his shoulder and then she went inside. Feeling very much like a teenager that just got home from a date. She laughed, quite loudly. She covered her mouth with her hand and hurried off to her room.

She overslept that morning. She dressed quickly, feeling guilty that she hadn't been up to start her chores. She wasn't able to do as much as some of the others but she did take pride in what little bit she was able to do. She hurried out of her room, still in the process of putting her socks on, not paying any attention to what was in front of her, when she ran into something solid and nearly fell over.

"What the hell, Carol." A familiar voice grumbled as an arm went around her waist.

He stepped away from her as soon as she was in no danger of toppling over. "Sorry," she breathed. She realized then that along with the ever present cross bow he also had a backpack slung over his shoulder and another bag in the hand that he hadn't used to steady her. She couldn't hide the smile that lit her face. She beamed up at him. She had lost a lot of sleep worrying about him sleeping outside in a tent in the cold.

He blinked and then smiled slightly, adjusting the bow and then walking past her without a word.

Now he was going to be just a few doors down. The only thing separating his room from hers was the room that Shane used. Sophia shared with Beth. The older girl seemed to really enjoy Sophia's company and Sophia adored Beth. She had quickly become the older sister that Sophia had never had. She thought about following him to his room to see if he needed help with anything but she turned and went down the stairs instead. The last thing she wanted was for him to think that now he was in the house she was going to follow him around all day.

It snowed that day and instead of the cold keeping them inside everyone made up every excuse they could to be outside. Daryl went hunting, bringing back a huge buck. He was actually grinning when he came out of the trees, struggling with the heavy load. Shane and T-dog ran over to help him haul it towards the shed that he had designated to clean his kills. It felt like Christmas. They had chopped wood nearly all day. There was enough, it seemed, to last them for the rest of the winter.

The snow kept falling until everything was covered. The deer was a godsend since walkers had decimated the cattle already. Better the cows than them. The cold seemed to be slowing them down, or maybe they were all dying off. All the group could do was hope.

That night dinner was louder than usual and everyone lingered at the table. There was even wine that Shane and Rick had gotten on a run and Hershel finally allowed them to drink it in the house. There were stories and laughs being shared well into the evening. Several times Carol had looked up and would catch his eye. He'd look away quickly every time but not before she would see the heat rise in his face. At least they matched. No one else seemed to notice.

She didn't know how much she had drank until she found herself chatting with Rick and Shane. She never talked this much. She had smiled so much that her face actually hurt. Sophia kissed her goodnight as the younger ones headed up the stairs to bed. She thought that maybe that was what she needed to do. There seemed to be a foot of snow out there now so she doubted that there would be any walking for them tonight.

She stood up and offered to help Lori and Maggie clear the table but they brushed her off, telling her she was always the one that did it and to go on to bed. She didn't argue. When she looked over he was downing what was left of one of the bottles of wine, then he stood up also. Everyone was still too busy to notice them leaving the room at the same time. The festivities for the others wasn't yet over.

She was hyper aware of him behind her as she carefully made her way up the stairs, keeping her hand firmly on the banister. She wanted to turn around to look at him but she was afraid if she did he would clam up. She was always afraid of him doing that, especially now that she had maybe had one too many glasses of wine. It wouldn't take her long to ruin whatever this fragile thing between them was.

Her door was closest, he was still behind her and she still hadn't said a word. She reached for her doorknob when she felt his hand on her elbow. She finally turned to face him. He was much closer than she had thought he would be. So close they were nearly touching. His hand stayed on her arm but he was starting to look a little uncomfortable. It looked like he wanted to say something but it was stuck. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

"Thanks." He muttered, his eyes boring into hers before moving away to a spot on the wall.

She smiled. "For what?"

He met her eyes once again. "For what you said about Merle. About not carin' what the others thought."

She remembered saying that but it had been so long ago she hadn't thought about what she had said for a while. She couldn't even remember everything she had said about it.

"Wasn't nothin'." She said quietly. It was what he had said to her when she had thanked him for bringing Sophia back safe.

He opened his mouth to say something but then must have remembered that those were his own words and then closed it once more, smiling. "I s'pose I see your point now." He muttered before dropping his hand and taking a step back.

She watched him as he seemed to fumble for more words but nothing came out. When he finally did speak she was surprised at the question he asked. "You feel like gittin' outta here for a little while? Ain't as cold as it looks out there."

She nodded eagerly and followed him back down the stairs. No one saw them leave the house. She was glad because she wasn't in the mood for anyones questions or looks and she knew that there would be plenty of them.

He was right. The snow was still falling but the temperature wasn't as cold as it was most nights lately. What she hadn't realized was how_ much_ snow was actually piled up on the ground It was like the snow was insulating the farm. Right before they went down the porch steps his hand slipped into hers. The wine she had consumed gave her more courage than she would normally have so she made adjustments until her fingers were twined through his.

He went to lead her down the steps but she didn't budge. Both their arms were stretched, hands still locked together but she was still on the porch and now he was on the bottom step. He turned and gave her a curious look, snow clinging to his eyelashes. "What are ya doin'?" He asked.

She grinned, the wine making her that much more bold. "I thought you'd be sick of walking by now."

His breath came out in a huff and he actually came back up the steps faster than she thought he could considering that he was less stable on his wine legs than she was from what she could tell. But suddenly he was right there on the step below her. "Are you?" he asked in a low voice.

She shook her head slowly, unable to take her eyes off of his. He actually smirked like he expected as much. Apparently wine opened him up a little too. She suddenly remembered how he had been at the CDC after all of that wine. Maybe this could get interesting.

"We'll get our feet soaked if we walk through all this snow," she said without looking away.

His eyes dropped to her sneaker clad feet and then a frown formed between his eyes. "Well fuck, Carol."

She laughed quietly. He must have drank much more than she thought he had. His words came out slightly slurred. When his eyes made it back up to meet hers the frown was still in place. He huffed and then stepped around her, leading her back to the door, not dropping her hand.

The last thing she wanted to do was rush him into anything he wasn't ready for but she was getting a little more than impatient. She was almost positive that this was going somewhere. She wasn't sure where but he was still holding her hand and it wasn't just a coincidence that he just happened to be waiting for her on the porch every night. That meant something. It had too.

He opened the door and pulled her inside, keeping his grip on her hand. She was still lightheaded from all she had drank but it wasn't as bad as just a little while ago. Her racing thoughts were sobering her up a little. The stairs didn't give her as much trouble as they had before.

"If we can't roam around in the yard then what the hell are we gonna do?" He asked once they stopped in front of her door. His voice was louder than it usually was and a calloused thumb ran across the sensitive skin of her wrist. He hadn't dropped her hand. She focused on that fact when she met his eyes.

"Whatever you want," she said in a quiet voice that still seemed to bounce off the walls. She watched as his eyes seemed to darken. His thumb stilled on her wrist, right above her pulse point and she knew he could feel how quick her heart was beating now. He looked like he was unsure and that was okay with her. She wasn't so sure herself. She didn't know for sure what he wanted from her and she knew that it wouldn't be easy. It had been a while, they had grown closer, he was her friend now. She was certain of that. But she wasn't certain about anything else, even though just a few minutes ago she had thought she was.

When he didn't say anything she figured that it was just too soon. Or she was misinterpreting all of this. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, smiling when she pulled her head back and he was staring at her with widened eyes.

Daryl Dixon was treading water here and she knew it. She was pretty sure that kindness had been as rare for him as it had been for her. Friendship was a foreign concept. Trust was something to be read about in books. She realized then that anything more than late night walks, feeling each other out on an emotional level with restrained conversations and now the occasional hand holding just may be the only thing they had to offer one another. Maybe all they could give was the comfort of knowing that the other cared. And cared deeply. She was stunned to realize that she was just fine with all of that. Because it was a comfort to know he cared. Just the prospect of him meeting her eyes from across the table and actually holding them was an exciting thing. Something she looked forward too. She would always know that out of all of them, he would always care about her just a little bit more than he did the rest.

"Goodnight, Daryl." She gave him a smile but the frown between his eyes returned, deeper than before as he struggled with some inner battle.

He blew out a heavy breath, his free hand coming up to the side of her face. She stayed very still as his thumb brushed across her bottom lip just as lightly as his other had brushed her wrist, and then he lowered his head until there was barely any space separating then. There seemed to be a thousand questions in his eyes but he didn't voice any of them. Instead his lips met hers, soft and questioning, as if he still wasn't so sure he was doing the right thing.

She kissed him back just as gently as he was kissing her. Like he'd run if she made one wrong move. He finally let go of her hand and put his arm around her waist so she hesitantly placed her own hands flat against his chest, his heart hammering just as fast as hers through the smooth leather of his vest.

He was the one that finally pulled away. Carol was breathless. That had to have been the sweetest kiss she had ever had in her life. They hadn't tried to devour each others mouths and there wasn't anything sure in the act at all but it would still go down in the books as one of the greatest things she had ever experienced.

He pressed his forehead flat against hers when they heard footsteps coming slowly up the stairs. "G'night, Carol." He whispered.

She nodded and he stepped away, that rare smile breaking across his face right before he turned and headed towards his room.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad you all liked that first chapter! I was nervous about it at first. God knows we've got a lot of season two fics but the truth is, I love them. I miss the farm a lot. I know I told you that this would certainly not be over two chapters but the last chapter was so long I ended up splitting it up so we will have one more to go. Thank you all for reading! Hope you enjoy this one. I tried to keep this sweet. lol I don't know if it worked though ;)**

Chapter Two

Daryl shut the door, shaking his head almost angrily as he sat his crossbow next to the nightstand and sat down heavily on the bed. His head was still swimming from all the damn wine he had drank. He kicked off his boots and then stretched out on the mattress, fully clothed.

What the hell was he doing?

He had been asking himself questions like that for over two months now. First, every time he stepped into the woods to look for that little girl he would ask himself why. Why the hell did it mean that much to him to find her? It wasn't only because he had been forced to listen to the girl's mama cry herself to sleep in that damn camper every night. It wasn't because he wanted the chance to play the hero. He didn't have an answer to any of the questions he found himself asking himself lately. The why's weren't what was important. The important thing was that he had found her, even when Carol herself had given up hope that he would bring her home.

She had been a little girl lost in the woods in a place where monsters were very real and so he hadn't had a choice but to find her.

But this didn't have anything to do with the little girl at all. From that first night he had came clomping out of the woods and saw Carol standing there like a dumb ass in the dark, unarmed and not even wearing a jacket, he'd felt obligated to watch out for her. Too keep her safe. Maybe since he'd found the girl in one piece he needed a new mission and there she stood, ready to be the person that would give him some sort of purpose. He remembered shaking off the thought. Like he needed to look out for anyone but his damn self. Like this woman was any different than anyone else he'd ever come across. She probably thought the same thing everyone else thought when they looked at him. But he had stayed with her that night anyway, against his better judgement. Listened to her ramble on about thanks and being a good man. He'd even let her touch him. Like he'd had a damn say in the matter. It was either let her hug him or fall on his ass in a cold pond. He did the thing that would cause the least damage, or so he thought. The truth was, she had been the only person to ever say something like that to him. And the way she had looked at him with that quiet convection, like she truly believed that he was the man she was describing, that had him tossing and turning for most of that night. She was more than what people first saw. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was too.

The second night he had been checking the property for walkers before retiring to his tent when he had come around the house and saw her standing there on the porch. He had been surprised that the first thing he felt hadn't been annoyance. She'd held up the damn poker, grinning like a kid and it was then that he realized that maybe he had spent so much time outside that night because he was secretly hoping that he would see her again.

The things that came out of that woman's mouth sometimes totally floored him. When she said those things about his brother he'd felt himself getting even more trapped in her web. One that she didn't even know she was weaving. He'd never met someone so fucking selfless in his life. She knew that Merle was a real asshole but still wanted him back just because he was his brother and she knew that he cared about him. Even if he was an asshole. That was what had done it for him. After that he had craved her presence like a drunkard craved his next drink. Like a junkie craved his next fix. To her he was different. He wasn't stupid and he wasn't trash. He wasn't somebody to fear or someone to pity. To her he was more and she didn't hesitate to let him know it. He would scoff at her but on the inside she had planted a seed of self worth that was quickly taking root in his mind. He was better than he thought he was. He was more than he had ever been taught. He was somebody and she saw it even before he had brought her daughter back.

He'd never met another person like that before. Never met a person who looked at him like he was really something. Like he was important. He wasn't just Merle Dixon's kid brother. To her he was someone else. Someone more. And it confused the holy shit out of him. He'd accepted who he was a long time ago but maybe, just maybe, he was a lot more than he had ever thought he was. No, it wasn't just because of Sophia. That may have been part of it but it wasn't the only reason she looked at him that way. It was just because she believed he was better than he thought he was. It made him think that maybe she was right. Maybe he was more than what people first saw. Or maybe even still saw. She watered that seed in his mind and slowly he felt the self doubt ebb a little.

He rolled over onto his side and gazed longingly at the door. He wasn't sleepy. He had really just wanted to spend more time with her. He hadn't been sure how she would react last night when he hadn't let go of her hand. He knew she would have been able to steady herself but it was reflexive at first to make sure she didn't fall into the pond and then once he had a hold of her hand and he felt just how well it fit into his own, how warm it was, he hadn't wanted to let it go. He figured that if she hadn't wanted him to keep a hold of it then she would have pulled away herself but she hadn't. She had just kept right on walking like nothing had changed.

And then tonight he'd actually kissed her. And he hadn't even had the balls to do a thorough job of it. But she'd kissed him back, almost shyly. There was something about that that had really gotten to him. Not the fact that she had kissed him back but the fact that she seemed just as unsure as he had been. It seemed like every single thing about the woman fit him.

So why was he laying in bed, brooding over her when even a blind son of a bitch like himself could see that everything he wanted was a few doors away and from what he could gather, she wanted the same things. He sat up and then climbed back out of bed, stepping lightly to the window and then pulling back the curtain.

The snow was still coming down and he cursed it. They could have been circling the damn pond by now. He looked over his shoulder at the door once more but just shook his head and got back into his own bed. He would just go to her room but then she'd definitely think that he was there to try to get in her pants and that wasn't what all of this was about. Not that he hadn't thought about that, which had really messed him up. He wasn't a stupid man. He learned a lot from Merle's mistakes. He'd seen what kind of shit you could end up with if you messed around and got with the wrong type of woman. But he knew he didn't have to worry about anything like that with her.

Hell, at the rate he was going he would need a cane to get around before he even summed up the balls to even kiss her properly. And then something occurred to him that he hadn't though about before. What if she thought that the only reason he had kissed her when he did was because of all the damn wine he had drank? And what if the only reason she'd kissed him back was because she was about half drunk herself?

He let himself stew on that for all of fifteen seconds before deciding that that was a bunch of bullshit. She'd know better. Just because she knew him better than that. He wasn't sure how he would feel about everything tomorrow but right now he felt okay with the way everything was playing out. He dosed off after a while, sleepy or not he was damn comfortable in an actual bed.

~H~

When he woke up the next morning he was disoriented at first. He wasn't used to waking up with four walls surrounding him and he was starting to feel closed in. He figured that would happen. The sun wasn't up yet but that didn't mean a whole hell of a lot since it was the middle of winter. He got up and went to the window and sure enough there was just a faint hint of daylight on the horizon.

He grabbed his boots and shoved his feet into them before he shouldered his crossbow and hurried out into the hall. It wasn't until he was almost to her door that he started getting nervous. When he passed by her door his stomach felt like it was tying itself into knots. What if things were different now? He shook his head and hurried down the stairs, not bothering to see if anyone else was awake. Trudging through the snow he made a beeline for the trees behind the barn.

It wasn't quite dawn yet but he could see well. The snow made the land seem like it glowed from within. He wouldn't have any trouble at all seeing in the dense woods. If there was one thing he was an expert on it was the outdoors. He may have been a bumbling fucking mess when it came to women but he knew the woods, damn it. He spent plenty of nights out there. Even when he had been younger and Merle was off learning the inner working of the world of sexually transmitted diseases and drug addiction, he had been learning to track, hunt for food and survive. Merle would rip his own tongue out before admitting it but Daryl was the one that kept_ his_ ass alive when the world went to shit. Not the other way around.

That's what he would do. He would spend a little time in the woods and get his head clear and then he would come back and talk to her. Or not talk to her. Sometimes he just flat out didn't feel like talking but if he decided today that he wasn't going to talk she would probably think there was something wrong with him. She'd most likely think that he hadn't meant to do what he did when in all reality that's what he thought about doing most nights they were together.

He was power walking towards the woods now, as fast as he could through what seemed like two feet of snow, ready to get to the one place that he felt comfortable. He was just rounding the corner of the barn when he slammed into something. He was walking so fast that whatever it was fell backwards. Lucky for him, it broke his fall.

He landed hard on top of something but the deep snow softened the impact. It turned out to be someone, not something. And it was just the someone that he wasn't ready to see yet. She was struggling under him, doing everything she could to get him off of her.

"Shit, Carol! Calm down," he growled as she tried to knee him.

"Daryl?" She stilled when she realized she wasn't being attacked. "Jesus, you scared me to death."

He tried to raise up but the hand he was bracing himself with sank into the deep snow, causing him to nearly squash her under his weight. "Son of a bitch," he hissed.

"You know, if you wanted to fool around you could have just asked, Daryl." She was grinning up at him.

"Shut up," he grunted as he finally just decided to roll off of her. Despite the cold his face was burning. He had actually just been thinking about doing just that. But she didn't need to know that.

When he glanced over at her she was sitting up, grimacing down at the front of her jacket as she pulled something away from her. A basket. She started laughing as she tossed it away. The front of her shirt looked like it was covered in some kind of slime.

"The fuck is that?" he asked, sitting up himself. He looked down and saw that the same stuff was all over him. He looked back at her sharply.

"Eggs. You smashed eggs all over both of us in your attempt to run away before I got up." She laughed some more and then dropped back down into the snow.

He scoffed. "I was not." He lied because he knew damn good and well that it was the truth. He just didn't want her to know that.

"Come on Daryl. You were trying to run through two feet of snow. And you were doing it so you wouldn't have to see me this morning. Was I really that bad?" She looked at him and batted her lashes before laughing once more.

"Shut up. I was gonna go for a hunt." Surely she didn't really think he hadn't liked it? That was stupid. He could almost still taste her on his lips...

She shook her head and then sat back up. "Looks like it doesn't really matter what your plans were. You're stuck walking me back to the house. You can't go hunting covered in egg. You've ruined breakfast, by the way."

He stood up and offered her his hand. She took it willingly enough even though it was obvious she knew what he had been up too. He felt like a real jackass for it at the moment. He should have known that things wouldn't be very different now. Not in a bad way anyways.

Instead of dropping his hand she laced her fingers through his. He was okay with that. He was much more calm than he was when he had left the house. Even after she mentioned fooling around. He saw her studying him from the corner of his eye. He was about to ask her what the hell she was staring at but he decided not to at the last minute. He was learning control. Slowly but surely.

He wasn't thinking about people being up yet so he wasn't to worried about getting caught holding her hand. He made it a point to not talk to her too much during the day because he knew what people would start thinking and he wasn't ready for them to start thinking about that. Whatever the hell_ that_ was. He knew there would be questions that he couldn't answer and he knew they would most likely talk about her behind her back.

She knew that he was a decent man and he knew he was a decent man, but he wasn't sure what the rest of them thought of him. He didn't want them to think he wasn't god enough for her because deep down he had to wonder the same thing. Why wouldn't they question it if he questioned it himself? But then, as the house came into view, he couldn't help but think about her husband and the shit that he had made her suffer through. He wouldn't ever do anything like that. He'd never hit her. So they would have to think that he, even with his reputation throughout their group, was a much better catch than that piece of shit she had married.

When they got closer they could make out a few people on the porch already. His first impulse was to drop her hand and step away from her. They were walking close together and whoever was on the porch would no doubt see that. Once they got closer whoever it was would be able to see that he had a firm grip on her hand. Unless he dropped it right now. But then he thought about what she had asked him about her being a bad kisser and it bugged him. He couldn't articulate to her that he actually couldn't get the stupid clumsy half drunken kiss out of his head. That it had been amazing simply because it was very... them. But he could let her know something. And here was his chance to show her without having to utter a word.

His grip tightened as he took in a deep breath.

"Daryl, you don' have to anything that you..."

"Fuck'em." He said, cutting her off mid sentence.

He looked down at her and caught the small smile on her lips. Just his luck it was Lori and Andrea. They stared for a few seconds and then they both just smiled and looked away. He stormed right past them, pulling her along with him and marched into the house. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest but he didn't care. If he was going to do this then he wasn't going to be a goddamn coward about it. He wasn't going to hide in the woods and he wasn't going to sneak around with her in the barn. In his opinion she was worth more than that and she needed to know it.

Of course that didn't mean that was planning on sticking his hand up her shirt in front of the whole damn group and he wasn't planning on putting any kind of label on this... whatever the hell it was but he wasn't hiding. He'd spent his whole life hiding and it was time for that to end. He led her up the stairs and kept her hand locked in his. She was staring at him again and then he realized that someone else was staring at him also.

"Why are you two covered in snow and... slime?" Sophia asked from a few feet away.

Daryl flinched and then dropped Carol's hand quickly. She must have just came out of her room and he hadn't heard her. This was probably bad. Really bad.

Carol turned to look at her daughter with a sheepish smile on her face. "We had an accident. The eggs didn't make it." She winked causing Sophia to laugh.

"Well, I would hug you but you're both pretty gross so you'll have to settle for a good morning," Sophia made a face at them once more and walked on past.

Daryl watched her go, not looking back at Carol until the bathroom door was shut firmly.

Carol was watching him with a curious look on her face. "Bring me those clothes when you're done and I'll wash them up in the basement." She disappeared into her room before he could say anything and for a few long moments he just stared at her door. With a frown and a shake of his head he went back to his own room to change into something less disgusting.

Right before he opened his bedroom door he sighed loudly. What the hell was he doing?

~H~

Over the next three weeks nothing happened. Well, not anything monumental. Winter raged on outside the walls of the farmhouse and the days seemed to blur together. He hated staying inside but every time he even thought about going out to hunt she would get this terrified look on her face and then he'd feel guilty because he knew that she was terrified he'd freeze to death or something else ridiculously stupid and then he'd end up staying inside. Another day with nothing to do surrounded by a bunch of people.

He made more bolts than he knew what to do with. He was going to lose his mind if he didn't get out of the house. He hadn't kissed her again. There were either too many people around or it just didn't seem like the right time for anything like that. He missed talking to her. He missed all kinds of things really. He had a knack for making her laugh which had surprised him at first but then some nights when they had been on one of them aimless walks that was his whole goal. He had never heard her laugh at the quarry.

It wasn't all bad though. Every once in a while they'd find themselves alone and then he'd end up feeling her hand on his back or on his arm and then she'd look at him with that timid look on her face that caused him to draw a complete blank. And then when the moment was passed he'd curse himself for doing nothing but standing there staring at her like some sort of weirdo.

Andrea and Lori must have managed to keep their mouths shut about what they had seen that morning because no one looked at him any different than they had before, even those two and he eventually started thinking that the prospect of him and Carol wasn't as shocking to everyone else as it was to him. He knew things were going extremely slow, even for him, but he didn't realize how slow until he woke up to a light knock on his door that very morning.

He'd been sprawled out on his stomach with his head buried under the pillow when he heard it. He lifted his head and scowled towards the door, squinting as the early morning light, made brighter from the reflection off the snow outside, assaulted his eyes.

Before he could tell whoever it was to either go away or come in the door creaked open and a familiar face appeared.

"Can I come in?" Sophia asked, worry marring her usually happy features.

The scowl slipped and was replaced by a frown. He shrugged and rolled over onto his back, moving so he could sit up and lean against the headboard. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the heel of his hand. He was curious. Sophia was another mystery to him, his feelings for her running deeper than they did for most, just like her mama. He figured it was because she was the catalyst for the significant change that he was still in the process of undergoing. Her getting lost set in motion a series of events that led him to a place he never imagined he would be.

"Ain't it a little early for pesterin' folks?" He grumbled.

She sat down on the side of his bed and started picking at a lose threat on the blanket. She looked somber and her eyes were a little sad when they finally met his.

His frown deepened. He wasn't used to seeing the kid look like that anymore. She was all smiles and teasing now days. "The hells with the look, girl?" He asked.

Her gaze shifted back to the spot on the blanket she was picking at. "I saw you and my mom that morning that you were both all covered in egg. You were holding her hand."

Oh, son of a bitch. Why the hell was she trying to talk to him about that? This was Carol's job, not his. Fuck, he'd saved the kid's life, wasn't that enough? He felt his face heat up.

"Right?" She pressed.

He ran a hand through his hair and refused to look at her anymore. "What's this about? Shouldn't you go talk to your mama or somethin'?"

"Shouldn't you?" She countered.

Now he had no choice but to look at her.

"I heard her talking to Andrea last night and Andrea was asking her what was going on between the two of you and my mom said nothing."

Shit. Was she just saying that to get Andrea off her back or was she saying it because she didn't think there really was anything going on between them?

Sophia rolled her eyes. "She isn't going to tell me anything either. She thinks I'm just a kid that doesn't see whats really happening here."

"You are just a kid. And there ain't nothin' happenin' here. She said it herself."

Her face grew harder and he would have laughed if she hadn't been directing that angry gaze at him. "Yeah? Well, it seems like you're just a kid too cause you don't even see that whatever you are or aren't doing isn't working anymore."

He narrowed his eyes and met her gaze again. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"

She scooted so she was closer to him, so he didn't have a choice but to look at her or actually have to turn his head away to avoid her. "My mom is one of the nicest people in the world. She'd do anything for anyone but she's had a bad life. It isn't fair that she's had to go through some of the things she has because she didn't deserve it. She deserves a lot more than she's been given..." She tore her gaze away from his and looked back down.

He studied the girls face, surprised at the words that she was throwing at him, pelting him like rocks. He already knew how bad Carol's life had been. But that didn't have anything to do with him. He'd never hurt her before so why was this kid in here badgering him about shit that he couldn't do anything about. "What the hell am I suppose to do about that?"

She shook her head. "How the heck am I suppose to know? I'm not gonna act like I know what's going on. I'm a kid." She stood up and gestured towards the door angrily. "But you need to do something cause I think she's starting to think you don't really like her and when she thought you did like her she was happy. She isn't as happy now. Talk to her or hold her hand again or..." She looked up quickly as her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. "Kiss her!"

"What?" He glared at her but she didn't seem to be very scared of him at the moment. "Get the hell outta here, girl. You don't know what you're talkin' about." He pulled the pillow out from behind him and threw it at her, hitting her square in the face.

She glared right back and, to his amazement, picked it up and threw it right back at him. "Get off your butt and stop acting like you're younger than me! You faced down walkers to go out there and bring me back to her! But you're too chicken to do something as easy as letting her know how you feel!" She shouted.

"Shut up ya little shit! You're gonna wake up the whole goddamn house with all that shriekin'!" He hissed as he swung his legs around.

"Daryl,_ do _something. I see how you look at her and I know how much you care about her. Everybody does. Just _do _something about it."

She turned on her heel and left the room. He sat there, glaring at the floor before he shoved his feet into his boots and stomped out of the room, heaving the crossbow onto his shoulders. He didn't hesitate outside her bedroom door this time. Sophia's words were swirling around his head, causing him to clench his teeth in frustration. He needed to hunt. This time he was just going to go without letting anyone know what the hell he was doing.

The sun was out which was a huge relief. There was no wind either so he figured this would be the best time to go. No one could say anything about how dangerous it was out there now. He had too squint against the glare. He got to the porch steps before he stopped. He really should at least tell her where he was going, just so she wouldn't worry.

Everyone else must have decided to enjoy the break in the weather themselves because the house proved to be empty as he made his way to the kitchen. But just as he expected there she was, standing at the sink with her arms shove into the dishwater up to her elbows. It kind of pissed him off that she would be the only one in here doing anything while everyone was else was off enjoying themselves.

He remembered what Sophia had said to him just a little while ago. She had told him to do something. But what should he do? He glanced around the kitchen to make sure there wasn't anyone there before he cleared his throat to get her attention. She spun around.

"Jesus, you scared me!" She said before flashing him a smile.

"Where is everybody?" he asked as he finally took a few steps closer.

She shrugged. "Around, I suppose." She faced the soapy water once more. "I'm surprised you're still here. Thought you would have left out hours ago. You've been talking about hunting for weeks but you never go."

"Didn't figure you wanted me to go." He blurted without thinking.

She pulled the plug in the sink and then grabbed a dishtowel from the counter next to her, drying her hands before she faced him. "I didn't."

"And now?" He asked as he leaned against the counter.

She glanced out the window over the sink. "And now it don't seem as dangerous."

He snorted. "It wasn't dangerous before."

"But you locked yourself up in a house with the rest of us just so I wouldn't worry? That was real sweet Daryl." She grinned.

"Shut up." He frowned which, for some reason, caused her grin to widen.

"You want somethin' to eat first?" She asked quickly.

_Do something._ Sophia's voice ghosted through his mind and his eyes shot up and met Carol's. Did she really think that? He knew he wasn't good at any of this crap but surely she knew. If she didn't she was an idiot because he sure as hell hadn't become a prisoner in that damn farmhouse for the rest of those assholes. He had stayed because he knew for a fact she had wanted him too.

His eyes drifted down to her lips and he suddenly remembered, in perfect detail, how they had felt on his. He knew what he wanted to do. He also knew for a fact that he didn't have the balls to do it. But if he didn't do something now then when was he going to do something? There was no one there. She was standing right in front of him. What the fuck was his problem?

He knew his problem. What if she didn't want him to do something. What if she pushed him away or what if she...

"Daryl, are you hungry?" She asked again, her head tilting to the side in that way that made her look like a kid.

He felt the blood rushing to his face and he wasn't even sure why. He licked his lips. She didn't move to fix him a plate. Instead of saying anything he nodded. When she turned to walk towards the stove he grabbed her hand, somehow feeling like if he didn't do anything now then it would be too late and he wouldn't do anything at all and every chance he had would be gone.

She turned to face him once more and he kept pulling until she was pressed right against him. He didn't waste any time anymore. He shut off the argument in his head and kissed her for the second time in a three week period. She didn't pull away from him and she didn't protest at all. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, but this time was different. Very different. Her lips were hungrier than they had been before. He was less hesitant now, especially when her fingers slipped into his hair and her lips parted allowing him to deepen the kiss. She responded in kind, giving him the courage to let his hands rest on her hips, using them to pull her closer still, trapping himself between her body and the counter.

His head was spinning and his heart thundered against hers and still her mouth was soft against his, her tongue slow and easy as it coaxed his into a wicked dance that nearly had him panting into her mouth. The blood pounding behind his ears drowned out any other sound in the room. He'd kissed other women but he'd never been kissed like this before and every cell in his body seemed to be igniting, burning him up from the inside out.

She was the one to end it. She pulled away slightly, eyes enormous as she slipped her hands from his hair down to his shoulders. He wasn't sure what the hell he was suppose to do now. Maybe he should unwind his arms from around her. But that wasn't an appealing idea so he kept them there, even when she ran her hands down his arms.

"I should get you something to eat before you go." She whispered.

He wasn't sure what she was talking about at first but then he remembered that he was suppose to be going hunting. For some reason this didn't appeal to him anymore but he nodded anyway and dropped his arms back down to his sides.

Just then the back door opened and some of the others came in. Carol went straight to the stove but all he could do was stand there, breathing as slowly as he could even though it felt like he wasn't getting enough air.

"Doin' a little huntin' today, Dixon?" T-dog asked.

He tore his eyes away from Carol long enough to look at the man. "Yeah." He mumbled.

T-dog frowned. "Hey, man. You feel alright? You look like you might be runnin' a fever or somethin'."

Daryl felt his face flush as Carol stifled a laugh behind her hand. He narrowed his eyes. The group moved on, leaving them alone once more. She handed him a plate and ignored the glare he shot her.

When he finally left out that morning he felt better than he had in a while but he couldn't focus on actually killing anything so he headed back to the house that he had been dying to get the hell out of when he had gotten out of bed that morning.

**I know that some of you that are reading this are also reading Dust to Dust. Trust me, I am fully aware of how horribly I am slacking on my updates for that story. I'm trying everything I can to not go ahead and shelf it for a while. Producing chapters for it is like pulling teeth anymore and I don't understand why because I had so much fun with that first one. I loved it! But I'm struggling now and I am really really sorry for that =( This is the first story that I have had this much trouble with. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, my friends. Here is the last chapter. I hope you like it! I really enjoyed writing this little story and, to my relief, the short break from Dust to Dust has done me a lot of good. Another chapter for that should go up in the morning. I'm working on it, anyway. Thanks for reading and reviewing. This chapter is pretty much the outcome of all those months of build up between the characters so there is a bit of a smut warning. Enjoy! And thanks again for reading! Much love =)**

Chapter Three

Another week went by and he didn't waste any of it. He'd kissed her every single chance he got and everyone else seemed to be clueless about it. He was okay with them knowing but he wasn't okay with them watching. He had to draw the line somewhere so when they were around he kept his hands to himself and so did she.

He was more bold after what had happened in the kitchen and she seemed to be okay with the way things were progressing. Or he thought so anyway. Until dinner that night. Everything was normal at first. He was sitting between Shane and Carol at the dinner table and everyone was chatting about this and that. Everyone but him. He never really felt the need to fill the silence with idle chatter and most of the stuff they talked about was just that. Nothing but needless chatter to fill up the space.

He was in the process of scarfing down his food so he could get the hell out of there. He was about to take a drink of water when he felt her hand on his leg. He froze with the water glass halfway to his lips, not moving a muscle but shifting his eyes so he could look at her. She was pushing her food around on her plate with a small smile on her face.

What the fuck was she doing? He wouldn't have minded but they were right there at the dinner table!

Her hand moved up and he jerked enough so the water sloshed out of the glass. He glanced around and Rick and T-dog was staring at him curiously. Just earlier they had been in the hayloft and he'd actually drifted his hand up her shirt. It was alright until the kids had came shooting up the ladder like a couple of howler monkeys. At least the kids hadn't been sneaking around but they had killed any chance he had of going any further.

He should have been embarrassed by the fact that it had taken him three months to get to that point to begin with. But that was just how things were. He took things slow. Now she damn near had her hand on his... "I'm gonna kick your ass as soon as we get out of here!" He whispered as he turned his head quickly. Gaping at her.

She eased her hand away, still sitting there innocently with that small smile on her lips, not even looking in his direction.

"You're not as scary as you used to be, Daryl," she whispered back.

Now Rick and T-dog were actually frowning at him. He knew they hadn't heard him but they knew something was going on. Now that he could concentrate he took a drink of the water and then waited another few minutes before he stood up and stormed out of the dining room, taking his plate to the kitchen. He didn't even glance her way as he walked back through on his way to the stairs. He couldn't help but look over his shoulder before he disappeared through the doorway.

Hers were the only eyes on him and for the first time in a while she looked a little worried. She did until the corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile that he knew she would catch. He couldn't believe that she was still so unsure of herself. Even he had gotten over that. He was pretty sure that he had made it clear to her on several occasions that whatever this was, he wanted it. More than that though, he _needed_ it.

He was addicted to the way she made him feel. He'd never voice any of that pussy stuff out loud but it was true. And it wasn't just physically either, although that was a huge plus. No, it wasn't just that. He was a better man now. Or maybe he had been a good man all along and just didn't grasp it until she showed him. He shook his head as he took the stairs two at a time.

But what exactly did she want from him? He had no idea. He was so far out of his league that it wasn't even something laughable anymore. Should he wait on her in her room? He wasn't in middle school. He thought maybe it was high time they got past the make out stage.

He walked past her door without even looking at it and nearly slammed his own. Yeah, they should have definitely been past the make out stage by now. They were both grown and still he'd barely touched her. Hell, he was pretty sure that Glen and Maggie had started screwing the third day they knew each other and then professed their never ending love after the fourth day. He shook his head as he sat the crossbow next to the nightstand where he always did.

But Glen and Maggie were no Daryl and Carol. The two of them were both damaged goods that somehow found out that they could heal over each other wounds. They had both been shattered by people that had claimed to love them and so they were bound to be hesitant at first. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she could hurt him worse than anyone else ever had. He'd put more of himself out there for her to keep than he had willingly given anyone else in his life and he had a feeling that she'd done the same. So they had to be a lot more careful than people like Glen and Maggie did.

He stripped down to his pants and crawled into the bed, deciding that he needed to make another move soon. That stunt she had pulled at the table gave him the indication that she was more than willing. He laid there on his back with his arms shoved under the pillow for a while before he finally started to doze off. He was trapped there in that strange place between sleep and reality when he heard the soft click of the door closing. This had happened a lot in the last few weeks. His wishful thinking becoming audible. His mind wanting her to come to his room so bad that it played tricks on him, making him think that she had.

"Daryl?"

Well this was odd. Usually he'd hear the door close and then look over and find his room empty. He'd never actually heard her voice before. Maybe he was asleep already and this was going to be one of those dreams.

He felt the bed shift, causing him to smile. Yeah, this was definitely going to be one of those dreams. When he heard her sigh loudly he frowned. Usually she just climbed on top of him and things went from there. This was different. He liked the other dreams much better than this one. His eyes snapped open when he felt the bed shift once more. She was there and she was getting up from the side of his bed like she was going to leave. He realized then that this wasn't a dream at all.

His hand snaked out from under the pillow and grabbed her wrist before she could even take a step away from the bed.

She turned quickly. "I'm sorry." She whispered, "I didn't know you'd be asleep."

He kept his grip on her wrist, afraid she'd leave if he let her go.

In the dim light he watched her bite her lip, something she did often when she was nervous. "Is this okay?" She asked.

He nodded and then pulled her towards the bed once more. He didn't stop pulling until she had crawled all the way to him. She kept coming even when he stopped pulling. He thought she was going to climb over him to get to the other side of the bed but she didn't. She stopped as soon as she had one leg over, trapping him between her legs. His heart seemed to do a flip in his chest before it started pounding hard and fast. She put her hands on his shoulders and then pulled gently until he sat up, locking his arms around her. He had a feeling that he wasn't just going to get to third base tonight. She was impatient and he didn't blame her. He was going to make a home run.

Her lips met his and it was almost like it was that very first time he had kissed her. She seemed scared, unsure. He didn't want her to feel that way, even though he was in the same boat. He had no idea what the hell to do. But he knew he didn't want her to feel like she was doing anything wrong. It almost seemed like she was waiting for him to reject her and then he remembered, once more, how cruel Ed had been to her and Daryl knew that men like that didn't stop with their fists. She'd probably been so torn down that her self worth was worse than his. He hadn't thought of that until now.

He pulled her tighter against him, causing a small sound to escape her right before he ran the tip of his tongue along her bottom lip. No, she definitely didn't feel like she wasn't good enough, even though he had wondered the same thing about himself off and on for months now. It worked. She responded to that silent signal with her usual enthusiasm, gripping the sides of his face in her hands and then kissing him like she always did, slow and deep.

He moved his hands down from her back to her hips and then lower until they were grazing the bare skin of her thigh.

His breath caught in his throat. She wasn't wearing any pants. This wasn't something he was prepared for. The shirt she had on was long and he was moving back up her thighs, under the thin material, her skin like silk under his calloused fingers. Bare hips met those wondering hands. Nope. Not a stitch of anything under that shirt. He could already tell that her breasts were bare, pressed against his chest.

There was a heat coming off of her that had him burning up despite the bitter chill in the air. She tore her mouth away from his but it didn't go far. Her lips brushed against his earlobe and then his neck where her teeth met his skin, biting gently and causing his breath to explode from his lungs.

He returned the favor once her lips made their way to his shoulder, his mind finding it hard to process. The thing that Daryl had learned early on was how badly another human being could bring you physical pain. This was about the furthest thing from pain he'd ever experienced in his life. When his lips grazed lightly against the outer shell of her ear she trembled slightly. This gave him a completely new kind of thrill, since he wasn't even sure what to do to make her feel good. He'd never put too much thought into what he could do to make someone else feel good but at the moment that was all he could think about. All he wanted was for her to know that if he had too he'd spend the rest of his fucking life making sure that he did everything he could to make hers as good as she made his.

He slowly lifted the shirt up over her head before wrapping one strong arm around her waist and turning so he was pressing her into the mattress. He froze when he felt her hands on his back. He was about to pull away but his body wouldn't obey his commands at all. He did tear his mouth away from hers and managed to choke out one word. "Don't..." But it was too late.

He pressed his forehead against hers, his breath ragged as her fingers ghosted over long healed scars. He hadn't thought about those for a while and he wished he had. He didn't want her knowing they were there. He didn't want anyone knowing they were there. Her hands came back around and pushed gently at his chest. His heart sank. Here it was. The rejection that he had secretly been waiting on. He'd thought that she would be different but it was just another pipe dream. He had hoped that she wouldn't mind that the outside was just as damaged as the inside but that hope shattered like glass as he rolled off of her.

He expected her to bolt. He didn't expect her to crawl right back on top of him, which was exactly what she did. But he was frozen up now, setting up that armor that protected him when he made stupid decisions. Like trusting someone else. Like caring about someone else. Like thinking they could look past certain things.

She brought her head down, her mouth close to his ear once more. His teeth snapped together until he heard her whisper. "Do you know what the best thing about being hurt is?"

He pulled his face away and glared at her, his hands going to her hips and gripping them almost painfully. He had a little restraint left but he'd be damned if he'd let her mock him. He could just barely make out her eyes in the dark and they seemed to be staring straight into his head. Her voice was barely a whisper now but he heard it clearly.

"The best thing about being hurt is that moment when you meet someone who knows exactly how to take the hurt away and _show_ you exactly how much you're really worth."

His fingers loosened on her and his glare turned into a look of confusion that she probably couldn't even see. She couldn't be serious. But of course she was serious. She wasn't _someone_. She was _Carol_. And she knew hurt just like he did. He suddenly felt like a real piece of shit for thinking she would do something like turn her back on him for something that he couldn't control. Those scars didn't make him weak in her eyes.

"I could spend the rest of my life_ telling _you how much your worth and it still wouldn't do." She kissed the spot right below his ear as her voice slid over his skin like a caress of it's own. There was something in the tone of her voice that had the blood in his veins turning to fire. He didn't want her to stop talking. He didn't even care what she said anymore. He just wanted to hear her. He should kick his own ass for every time he'd ever told her to shut up.

"Cause you wouldn't listen. Cause you're a stubborn man." Her teeth grazed his collar bone.

Jesus Christ! What the fuck was she trying to do to him?

She kissed her way down the center of his chest. "But that's okay. It makes my job much more fun."

Holy shit.

"I need you to know how good you are, Daryl." She was sliding down further and further, leaving a wet trail down his stomach. This wasn't the Carol that he'd grown to know over the last few months. This wasn't the blushing timid woman that he'd been sneaking around with. As soon as she had realized the extent of his own abuse a switch had been flipped in her mind. Right now she was more sure of herself than he had ever seen her. She was... unbuttoning his pants?

"Carol..." He choked right before she had the zipper tugged down. He had to stop her, even if he didn't want to stop her. Her hair had grown out over the last couple of months so he grabbed a fist full and pulled gently until she was sliding right back up. "Fuck," he growled right before he kissed her, rolling once more so she was firmly pressed into the mattress just like before.

He wasn't wanting to rush this but she had him half out of his head by this point so he was struggling out of his pants as he tried to hold her hands above her head with one of his. She wasn't as easy to restrain as she looked so he kissed her harder, causing her to moan low in her throat.

Son of a bitch, she was trying to kill him.

He moved his hands over her, up her sides, clumsily trying to feel as much skin as he could. He finally kicked his pants off but he didn't make another move, even though he was aching for it. He was still unsure what to do to make it good for her. He knew the basics. He knew exactly what to do to please himself but he never gave a shit about pleasing anyone else before. So no matter how much she moved around and squirmed under him he kept himself just out of reach.

"Damn it, Daryl." She groaned, pushing her hips up into him.

He laughed quietly into her neck, secretly reveling in the fact that she was so eager but still holding off. He kissed her neck, her jaw, her lips. The fact that he was doing any of this at all had him on a strange adrenaline high. He was breaking every single one of his own rules. Rules he'd lived by for his entire life. Opening up about anything was a sure way to get yourself slaughtered emotionally. Letting people in was what people did when they didn't care much for self preservation. He did, but he was learning that you couldn't live like that and be happy. He'd never been happy and he hadn't even known it.

He finally moved just enough to tease her a little more but she was having none of that. She moved her hips up one more time, sliding herself up the length of him. He couldn't hold off anymore. Her hands slid around his back and she wrapped her legs around him.

The atmosphere changed instantly. She stilled under him, her hands coming around to caress his face in a touch so light he may not have even felt it if he wasn't hyper aware of every move she made.

~H~

Carol felt the shift in the mood. There was a subtle change in the air around them. The time for games and teasing was over. This was a cataclysmic moment for both of them. After this everything changes. This timid and slowly progressing thing that had somehow grown between them would be changed forever after this and somehow they both seemed to realize it at the same time.

There were a million thoughts running through her head and every one of them involved him. What was going to happen to them after this? Was this it? Was there going to be more? What the hell did he want?

He kissed her then and all those questions ceased to pummel her brain. When he broke the kiss he kept his face close to hers. "I ain't any good at all this," he whispered.

She ran her finger down one particularly long scar on his back, causing him to shiver. "Somethin' tells me you're gonna do just fine," she whispered back.

His breath poured over her face then and he finally moved into her, something that sounded like a whimper escaping his lips before they covered hers. She never thought they could possibly fit together any more perfectly than they already had but she was wrong. It seemed like every part of him was custom made to fit her and this was no different. There wasn't anything unsure about his movements, despite what he had said right before. He moved slowly, like he knew that this was what she needed. It's what they both needed.

The feeling of him, heavy inside her, was something else she never thought she'd ever experience. Every small move he made sent jolts through her, enveloping her in heat and sensations so foreign she was almost sure that this wasn't normal by any means. Nothing could feel this good. Nothing she had ever experienced had. And she knew why. It wasn't just a physical pleasure that she was feeling, although that was a huge part of it. No, it was something much bigger than that. Something that she doubted many people ever experienced.

This wasn't just about something as simple as two people coming together physically. This was about more than that. It wasn't two desperate souls finding solace in the other because the world was forever changed and scary and this was just something to do to forget about that for a moment. This was about two souls desperate to find each other simply because the other was the only thing they could call their own. She didn't know where all this was coming from. She would probably feel stupid for thinking these things in the morning but right now it was very real to her and it made it that much better.

There was something about how slow he was moving that had her insides going insane. Her stomach muscles were contracting almost painfully and the heat that was pooling in her lower abdomen was threatening to set them both on fire. He whispered her name before he bit lightly on the spot just below her ear.

There was just a slight change in his pace but it gave her the indication that he was close but he still wasn't aimlessly driving into her. Every upward thrust of his hips was calculated so she would feel every inch of him. There was a moment that she sucked in as much air as she could when she felt something low in her body tense. It was unfamiliar and almost scary. She wasn't a complete innocent. She had experienced her share of orgasms before. Maybe not with Ed but she had a perfectly capable vibrator at home that had gotten the job done. But this was different. This was something growing deep inside her, some place that so far only he had touched. The tension built and kept building with every slow deep thrust of his hips.

She felt it build until it couldn't build anymore, it had to burst eventually and when it did she choked out his name before his mouth devoured hers, a growl rumbling in his chest. She couldn't stop moaning into his mouth as her body pulsed and throbbed around him, and still he drove into her, keeping himself in rhythm with the waves that were surely somehow going to kill her with the intensity of it all. Her muscles were gripping him hard, coiling around the length of him, pulling him deeper still.

"Holy shit." He groaned into her neck. He was tensing, moving just a little faster than before causing a whole new wave of sensation to wash over her. He braced himself on his arms, giving himself more leverage and amazingly he was going deeper still, faster now as he raced towards his own release. She was gasping for breath, desperate for air, white spots dancing behind her eyes.

"Fuck..." The word slipped out of his mouth like a cry right before a vicious growl erupted from him and then she felt it. Liquid heat pouring into her and it was like throwing gasoline on a fire, her back arched off the bed as his name tore out of her mouth loudly. She felt a strong arm go around her and a hand cover her mouth.

He was throbbing inside her now as she drained him, both gasping for air when his hand finally slipped away from her face. A few seconds later he stilled so she unlocked her legs and planted her feet firmly on the mattress.

She couldn't focus on any particular thought. She just tried to catch her breath as he panted loudly into her shoulder. He'd all but collapsed on top of her and he didn't seem to be able to move at the moment. She knew the feeling. She thought maybe she was in some sort of shock.

After he was finally able to breath he shifted and pulled out of her slowly. She instantly felt the loss of him when he rolled over onto his back beside her, the cold air in the room assaulting her overheated skin. She hurriedly moved until she was under the blankets, he followed suit, pulling her closer, sharing his warmth once more.

He was pressed against her back and she felt his lips on her shoulder. Her fingers were laced through his. "I 'spose I'm a liar," he whispered.

She closed her eyes and smiled. "How so?"

"I'm pretty goddamn good at that."

She laughed and settled in deeper, reveling in the warmth of him at her back, the thick blanket insulating the rest of her from the cold room. "That's about the understatement of the apocalypse, Daryl."

She couldn't believe how sleepy she felt. For the first time in a long time she wasn't worried about anything. She knew whatever came, they would be alright. They still had an uphill battle. There were still dead people walking, preying on the living. There was still the rest of the winter to survive on the farm, never knowing if there was going to be enough of what they needed. And there was still the mystery that was Daryl Dixon that she knew she would spend a long time trying to unravel. But right now it was okay. The house was sturdy. The dead were slower. And, mystery or not, he was there and he wasn't going anywhere.

Yeah. The dead were walking and the odds seemed to be stacked against them, but this was the safest Carol Peletier had ever felt in her entire life.


End file.
